In A Hand Basket

As a recently surprised Catholic, I've resigned myself to the fact that I'm going to hell. It's only natural.

The latest reason I'm going to hell is that I didn't attend church last Friday on the Solemnity of the Assumption of the Blessed Virgin Mary. But why should that day be any different that any other day?

But neither did Marilyn or Carla, so it's all good.

Marilyn will have to confess any other reasons why she's going to hell, but I can tell you one of the main reasons why Carla is. She does an imitation on The Blessed Virgin Mary as a Jewish mother.

"What? You bring me frankincense and myrrh? I'm in labor for 36 hours giving birth to your lord and savior and you bring me frankincense? How's about a nice brisket? Jesus, Mary and Joseph!"

Ok, so she throws in a little irate Irish at the end. Just another reason!

The first day my kids come to class and we're doing perspective drawings. Some of their lines don't go the vanishing point. Where are they going?

Straight to hell.