This Mornings Announcements Will Be Read By Sister Immaculata Chocolata

One thing about living out here is we get a fair amount of snow. In the mornings, we check for school closures or 2-hour delays.

Of course, the new-fangled technology allows the morning news shows to continually scroll the names of the schools across the bottom of the screen and there's always the internet. No waiting.

But back in the day, you had to tune in to the AM radio stations and listen for them to list all the school closings. Alphabetically. Attending the St. Louis Public Schools put us behind just about EVERY OTHER FREEKIN' CATHOLIC SCHOOL. You'd think those darn Catholics could consolidate their listings and say something like "all St. Louis City Catholic Schools" but noooooo! So we waited and waited and waited and heaven forbid you come in on the tail end and have to wait for them to start all over again.

I guess shouldn't badmouth the Catholics. After all, Richard recently discovered that we're really Catholics. Now we can drink, gamble, stay home on dozens of Holy Days and get announced before the public schools.